end scene.


A and B are cuddling somehow and finishing a bottle of wine in a public setting.


A: 6 years?

B: Come on…

A: What 6 years right?

B: I can’t believe you.

A: 5 years is easy - 6 years is like, wait was is five, or - … Yeah 6 years…wow.

B: yeah…wow. (a pause) 

B: Remember you told me that you would be the biggest mistake of my life?

A: (laughs) yeah.

(they kiss briefly) 

A: Remember…remember when we met…what was it…grindr?

B: Uh…no…I think you’re confu-

A: Tinder! I mean Tinder…oh man…grindr?!

B: Uh…no…it wasn’t Tinder either.

A: (pause) Oh. Wait - what?

B: John -

A: Christian mingle?

B: You’re not even religious.

A: Yeah but you can fuck a lot of chicks on Christian mingle.

B: can you…

A: (silence, thinking) 

B: Who. Who was the last girl you fucked on Christian Mingle before you met me.

A: Uh…Valerie.

B: (stops) Valerie.

A: Val-er-ie De-Plume

B: Yeah Valerie. I know Valerie. Wait what?!

A: I -

B: You fucked Valerie Deplume?

A: Yeah before we met on whatever -

B: You fucked Valerie DePlume!

A: It was before we met

B: Hey idiot you met fucking Valerie DePlume at Josh’s fucking wedding asshole. (throws the rest of wine at A, slaps A in the face and exits) 

A: Shauna!

B: (from off) Fuck you.