end scene.


A: Why’d you read all my e-mail?

B: I only did it once.

A: Yeah, right. You mentioned whether I wrote to Jamie about that (guy/girl) from Canada out of the blue. Where’d that come from?

B: Why would I lie?

A: It’s against the law. You violated me. I’d never do that to you.

B: You’d do it.

A: No.

B: You don’t get it.

A: I do.

B: Here, read my e-mail.

A: No.

B: Read mine!

A: No!

B: “I liked the way you touched me after yoga class -- “

A: It was a joke!

B: It’s not funny.

A: It was a joke.

B: You fucked (him/her). And what about that (guy/girl)? You gave (him/her) your home e-mail.

A: Please. When was this?

B: January. What is that? You want to screw other people? Why is that?

A: It was a joke.

B: Oh, and what about this? “I love the way your long hair shakes down onto my chest. I will have to repay you soon.”

A: I didn’t pay (him/her) a dime.

B: Two weeks later you went with me and my family to the Vineyard.

A: You have every right to be upset. It was once, honey!

B: You told me you loved me!

A: It was a joke.

B: You don’t joke like this with someone you used to fuck and still likes you.

A: I didn’t fuck (him/her)

B: (He/she) still likes you.

A: Babe.

B: You’re sick, you hear me, just sick!

(excerpted from Overheard in New York by Morgan Friedman and Michael Malice)